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30 day thinspo challenge
Day 29: your definition of beauty.
For simplicity’s sake, we’ll limit this to physical beauty. I love smallness, thin arms and legs and a small waist. Big eyes, soft and healthy hair. Defined jaw bone, collar bones, dainty hands. And something unique, looking like a Barbie is not the ideal.
30 day thinspo challenge
day 13: are you losing weight in a healthy or unhealthy way?
Healthy for sure, I haven’t eaten this many veggies in a long time. The only thing that’s unhealthy is that when I feel l’ve eaten too much I fall back on my old demon and purge. I know it’s awful for me in so so so many ways, but I’m addicted, I can’t explain it.
30 day thinspo challenge
Day 2
How tall are you and do you like your height?
I’m just a tiny bit taller than 5'2 which makes me really happy since that was my mom’s height. I always like doing things like her and being compared to her so that’s nice. The bad thing is that because I’m short but also so fat I look super squat and round. But I’m hoping that once I’m thin I’ll just look even more dainty and pretty because I’m shorter.
30 day thinspo challenge
Day 3: a picture of your thinspiration. What features do you admire about this person?
I love her sharp shoulders and narrow body. And I love her long thin legs. She’s dressed in a baggy shirt so you actually can’t see much of her body. But what I really love is that she’s walking through the forest. One of my big motivations is to lose some weight and improve my insurance so I can hike the Long Trail in Vermont this fall. Plus I want to get into hiking culture and look as if I actually belong. (Fall in love with a hiker dude and have little hiker babies…. hahaha I’m crazy) It just seems like such an amazing way to pass your free time.
30 day thinspo challenge
Day 14: what’s your UGW? When do you expect to reach it?
My biggest goal at the moment is to be 124 pounds by my birthday in August, but it’s not my ultimate goal. I’d really like to be 50 kilos/110 pounds eventually. If I’m dedicated I think I could get there by Christmas, but I’m sure I’ll hit a plateau at some point that will throw off my progress. But really my illuminate goal is just to have a slimmer body and to feel more confident.
30 day thinspo challenge
Day 11: favorite thinspo blog and why.
Not sure about my favorite but I definitely really enjoy @jaquelinesjourney, @jadore-thin, @foxeia, @airyfawn, @coffeewithstevia, @beforeandafterweightloss and @mslovejoy
30 day thinspo challenge
Day 8: your workout routine.
I do a lot more walking than anything else. I really dislike running, but I do like swimming, hiking, and riding my bike for cardio. Lately I’m trying to get more into strength training exercises. I used to be really into Blogilates workout videos, but now I use the Fitstar app on my phone. I really want to get in good shape to do a long distance thru-hike this summer with my best friend.
30 day thinspo challenge
Day 17: do you have an eating disorder?
It’s so stupid because when I was 13 until I was about 16 I thought it was the height of cool and admirable to be anorexic, but then I met some girls who actually suffered and wisened up. My college roommate was anorexic and you could see the effect on her brain, she did badly in school when she was starving and made really bad decisions when drunk on an empty stomach.
But yes, unfortunately I’m still bulimic. It started at the end of high school and it’s been going on in cycles ever since. I did about two weeks of out patient after I threw up blood junior year of college. It scared me enough to seek medical attention and tell my dad I needed help. But he complained about cost and I felt embarrassed so be spending money on what was basically group therapy and coloring sessions with snacks. So I’m still at it alone, eating healthy for a few days only to binge and purge again.
30 day thinspo challenge
Day 19: when is the last time you ate fast food?
Unfortunately it was on Monday (today is Friday.) It was a gourmet burger combo from McDonald’s. I was starving when I walked by and the line was short, so I went in. Even when I was ordering I was planning to purge, I’d been to that location before and knew they had good bathrooms. Purged nearly everything and then went to the mall food court and continued to binge and purge. Ugh. I hate this addiction and this waste of money and the damage all of it is doing to my mental and physical health. Bulimia is a horrible.